Once upon a time I took a five-month break from writing because my feelings were hurt.
I had apparently decided to participate in the suppression of my Self.
Serendipitously, I met a Goddess.
She saw me. Does that make sense? I often feel like, despite the fact that I am in the presence of other people, they are still somehow unable to truly see me for who I am.
Jamie took the time to express her gratitude to me for the “kind and uplifting messages” that she feels are “bringing a lot of positivity to the world.”
Most importantly, the point of Jamie’s email was to tell me that the haiku I had written in my last post reminded her of a poem called “On Children” by Kahlil Gibran, a poem that is her personal mantra as a Mother.
I cannot explain to you what that exchange meant to me. She saw me.
The Haiku I wrote about my son that she was referring to is this:
HE’S NOT MINE TO OWN I WAS MADE TO PROTECT HIM BEFORE I WAS BORN.
The poem that Jamie shared with me is this:
On Children by Kahlil Gibran Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
Every single time I read this poem I cry. You have no idea how far I have been bent. That I have never broken is nothing short of a miracle. I am that stable bow. Bend me as hard as you can, I cannot be broken. My son is that arrow. I am doing it.
I am so proud to have a friend who uses this poem as her parenting mantra. That I could write a haiku reminiscent of Kahlil Gibran’s On Children, without even knowing it, makes me happy to be alive.
I am grateful to my friend Jamie because she made me come alive.
My heart cracked open. I started writing again, I found the courage to tell her about my app idea and she helped me find a developer to build it. Jamie has allowed me to practice healing her in so many different ways, she has become the physical embodiment of my soul purpose, which is to heal.
Did you hear what I just said? My soul purpose is to heal. That is not easy for me to admit and I would love to add a caveat about how I am only supposed to heal myself, but with one comes the other. I have always been a healer, but I have also always kept that fact a secret, even from myself.
Because I am so fucking tired of being misunderstood. I thought if I could control the way I was perceived, then it would be easier to understand me and I could finally feel NOT lonely.
As you can see, I CREATED MY OWN LONELINESS BY NOT BEING MYSELF.
No one could understand me because I wasn’t being me. I am not a lawyer. I am a radiant being filled with love and light. I am totally made of love. I came here knowing many things I should not know and I am going to share them all with the world. I was not born with these gifts to keep them secret.
Only I know who I am and only I can share that.
My grief healing app is going to launch shortly together with the book that goes with it and everything in my life will change. This will involve “owning” who I am. I am a healer. I am an artist. I make healing art. I am a storyteller. I tell healing stories. I have enough love for the entire world and I will never run out.
If you have a friend who came into your life and made it better, tell them. Look them right in the eye and tell them your truth. Then give them a super long heart to heart hug. Just really breathe deeply into this hug and feel the love going back and forth between the two of you.
This is your soul mate. And by mate, I mean friend. There are people who come into our lives and we feel like we already know them, we feel like we love them more than people we have known our whole lives. This is what it is to connect with the spirit you agreed to connect with before you were born.
To make sure you are following your soul path. No detours.
If your friends could care less about whether or not you are on your soul path, they are not your soul mates and that’s ok. Everyone in your life is there for a reason: to help you learn your soul lessons.
Be as grateful to those that bend you to your breaking point as you are to those who support you. Everyone in your life is responsible for the person you are today. Acknowledge your own strength; you are not broken, you are learning.
ps–tomorrow is my Deer Friend Jamie’s Birthday and I am going to hug her so hard. Don’t forget what I said above about those heart to heart hugs, that’s a prescription for healing. You’re welcome.
pps–Jamie is really special.