Ok now where were we…
Right, it’s Sedona Soul Adventure day one and I have just finished my first session.
I now have about 45 minutes to eat and get to my second and final session of day one.
What I really want to do is go to sleep. The first session blew my mind too many times for me to even know what to do next. I drove along route 89 totally confused about where I was going or why. I had to start gently talking to myself:
“Ok, Rae, you can eat whatever you want for lunch, I will take care of you, you are fine…”
I pull over at this Deli I have already passed twice and force myself to go inside even though I do not feel like this is the place for me to eat. I order 2 slices of pizza to go even though I have no place to go and I have to pee really bad.
In a fog, I eat the gross pizza in my car in the Deli parking lot and then I get out and walk over to a grocery store so I can go pee. I look at the grocery items on my way out like…maybe I will buy something…but ultimately I keep going because I have no idea what to buy or why.
Back in my car, I journal until it is time to make the short drive to my second session, Family Constellations, whatever that means…
First of all, her name is Divyo and her home is amazing. The views from her huge living room window will make you reconsider your life. Divyo has this fantastic German accent that I felt enhanced our session, as many of my family members are of German descent and this session was supposed to be about my family through the generations…
…or maybe it’s because I spent a semester in college with a German exchange student trying to master a German accent for the musical Cabaret…and the following semester I cast that same German exchange student to play the Therapist in the one-act play I directed, Women and Wallace…hmmmmmm….
There are many brightly colored pillows lining the wall of her healing room. Divyo invites me to sit in one of her matching leather chairs as she steps out of the room. Immediately, I decide to wrap up in her big fuzzy blanket while she is gone. Divyo’s husband brings me a glass of water and I admit, in case he is blind, that I have decided to use the blanket. He approves. Divyo returns and is pleased about the blanket as well.
We begin the 2-hour session with Divyo explaining Hellinger’s Constellation Therapy Model. I can sum that all up by saying: wow, it’s really not about me. It’s not. DNA, man. Trauma transfers genetically, it’s science. The things that bother your parents will both you, too. This is why it is so important to consider your issues before you have children.
First, Divyo asked me to pick out 2 pillows to represent my parents. Next, she had me pick out pillows to represent all of the offspring between my parents, especially the offspring that did not make it. We then repositioned and spoke at length about my family structure and how we all agreed to come here and be a family before we were even born. The struggles are lessons we all agreed in advance to experience to learn together from each other.
The content of this session is private, so I will leave the 5 pages of notes in my journal to myself. The outcome of this session was phenomenal. Clarity, compassion, forgiveness, and best of all, unconditional love.
I love my Dad. I love my Mom. I love each and every one of my siblings. I feel and speak this truth from my heart every day. I love my family of origin at all times. Like a tree, the branches tend to grow away from each other, but family will always share roots.
In conclusion, I am grateful for my life journey. I am excited to be growing in this direction: